The great thing I always liked about science over faith is that it generally understood that there is no such thing as an absolute truth. It sought truth through constant experimentation and observation and attempting to duplicate results, and challenging previous findings. It is through science, and not faith, that I believe that one's sexual orientation is not static or fixed, and in fact, can change through the efforts of an individual and, while heavily influenced by your genetic predisposition (Google "Gay Twin Studies" to see what I'm referring to) there has to be some other factor that accounts for the fact that only 50% of twins of a homosexual person (lesbian or gay) are also homosexual. However, despite this logical discrepancy, there is a faction of the gay population that believes, akin to an article of faith, that one's sexual orientation is not possible to change. For a time, I myself believed that as well. But from what I've seen in others, read over the last few days, and experienced within myself, I can no longer believe that someone can't change their sexuality on their own if they put forth the effort.
The constant lazy excuse I hear (from people both sincere and otherwise) is that why would someone "choose" to be something that society in general despises? I'm not so sure the general society is very anti-gay anymore, at least it's not something I've experienced from close friends, relatives, or associates. In any event, why would someone "choose" to work in a field that isn't respected by some segment of society, why would someone "choose" to associate with others of a political affiliation that might not be popular with others in the community? Etc. etc. Point being, I believe that nothing in this world is fixed and permanent. IF (and only if) someone really does seek to change who they are, then with the right efforts, they can change it.
On a side note, what I find most interesting is that it appears that the people who most hate who I am are the ones most heavily trying to convince me that I'm gay. Not sure to what end. Some have suggested to me that they have a sexual interest in me and are upset that I don't want them in the same way. That might be a possibility, but I think a more likely possibility is that these hateful people are more worried that someone might break the spell over the gay community that one can't change who they are attracted to. I intend to prove them wrong and offer hope to those who feel frustrated with the constant hypocrisy and hatred they get from the gay scions on a regular basis for not doing or being what they demand.
Anway, I recently found this group called "Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays" (PFOX). I spent some time last night browsing around their site and reading some of the articles they had posted. These two in particular caught my attention and resonated with me:
Gay Activists Speak Out
Pop Music Star Melissa Etheridge
This is what re-enforced my wondering if sexuality is indeed fluid. Perhaps as Freud once suggested (and Alfred Kinsey's studies reveal) most of us are bisexual to one extent or another, acting on it in different ways.
Now, in the end, I'm not going to become more homophobic. As I said in my last post I realize now that it was wrong of me to judge an entire population by a few bad examples who let their hatred and negativity define themselves. Also as I've said before, at the end of this journey it might be revealed that I'm in fact gay, or maybe bi, or maybe straight. I don't know for sure, and I'm fairly certain I'm going to know my own sexuality more than anyone else who pretends that they know it all and can peg me one way or the other.
So just wanted to get these thoughts out there. We'll see what the future brings. Like my trainer says, perhaps those who are predisposed to homosexuality have to work ten times as hard to change it. He likened it to those predisposed to obesity. He has clients that have to work ten times as hard to get the same results as others, but they make the choice of either putting in the extra needed effort, or they are just happy with themselves as obese folks, the choice is theirs, so long as in the end they are happy with themselves.
