So I was up way too late last night reading different articles in Wikipedia about homosexuality, changing one's sexual orientation, etc. It got me to thinking whether it's biologically ingrained or not. I'm sort of an agnostic when it comes to things like that. Present scientific development seems to indicate it is most likely biological, so no choice involved (except perhaps acting on that attraction). But if that's true, my personal trainer and his brother present an interesting question.
I believe they are identical, they looked pretty identical to me, I'll ask my trainer later to confirm that. But his brother is apparently hooking up with dudes now, whereas my trainer is solidly straight, even got married and had a kid. Previously his brother was also into women, dating them and (I presume) having sex with them. So this leads me to two problems. Either both brothers are bi-sexual and have chosen to act on that in different ways, or else homosexuality is a choice (at least in the case of his brother). What if the fact is that it is in fact a choice, and most people choose to be heterosexual because of the presently accepted social norms of society.
I remember about 5 years ago when it was the "in" thing to be bi-sexual among high school and college aged kids. Taking into account the so-called Kinsey scale, it could be entirely possible that the vast majority of the population is bi-sexual (like Sigmund Freud once suggested) and that most people fall somewhere between 100% hetero and 100% homosexual, acting on it in different ways.
Anyway, how does this apply to me? Not sure yet, more research needed. It may ultimately come out that I'm maybe bi-sexual (and my buddy Garret's girlfriend jokingly tells me, no you can't be bi, that's selfish), or maybe I'm pretty much stuck being homosexual who's not attracted to dudes anymore (if I can't overcome the "gay vibe") and as a result be pretty much asexual. I could probably be attracted to a dude like me, but I've come to accept that there really aren't any other dudes like me in the gay population. I came close to finding one with the last guy I was interested in about a month ago, but (not that I should talk) he has major issues he's dealing with, among them body dysmorphia (something I myself went through over the last few years).
Well, I need to get to work, I just wanted to get these thoughts down first.
Peace, love, and awkward introspection!
