So I decided to post this real quick after I got more "supportive" comments from the "Out and Proud" gay man who loves to harass anyone he feels is somehow undermining what he thinks gay men should be. While I HAVE been homophobic in the past and have attacked gay men for what I perceive as shortcomings and stereotypical behavior (I now accept it as just being gay), and I've come a long way dealing with those feelings of hate and anger for what I thought I was.
He, despite his cries to the contrary, is not a happy man. He's not happy because if he were, he would have no need to attack others, to use their past against them when they've made strides, and he would accept the progress that someone has made to the positive. A happily secure gay man (or any man) wouldn't have the need to lash out at those who are doing him no harm, hating others what he hates in himself, being petty by using the past against them without presenting his present frame of mind, being so obsessed with someone as to post a blog entry (I'll link to his blog, since he was too insecure to link to mine since he knows it would prove his position incorrect), calling them out by name, and saying such things in his comments to me as:
2. the reality is that you have spent years being intolerant to "effeminate" gay men, stereotypical gay men, and flamboyant guys.
why? because you're a wimp who hates yourself.
you complain and bitch because you're a fucking wimp and the only people who support you are guys just like you who also hate themselves.
you're going to be a victim all your life.
(Little Kiwi) 1:53 PM
3. BWAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
(Little Kiwi) 1:51 PM
4. you're a complete fucking coward.
(Little Kiwi) 1:43 PM
5. you're a hypocrite. you complain that "gay scions" dictated your life. you're a liar.
you spread anti-gay bigotry. you spread hatred toward effeminate guys, flamboyant guys, stereotypical guys. you still do.
we simply called you out on the harm YOU are inflicting.
you're a coward. you'll live as a coward, you'll die as a coward.
buh bye , wimp :D
(Little Kiwi) 1:41 PM
6. great to finally be rid of you!
by the way, there's this video on youtube with all sorts of pictures of YOU talking in voiceover about how much you love sucking black cock, and you tooootally have a lisp in it, and sound like a little girl
. have you seen it?
it's pretty funny.
(Little Kiwi) 7/24/10
7. you're a bigot with no balls! wassup girly-girl!?
how's the pussy tasting these days?
:D
(Little Kiwi) 7/24/10
Truly happy people have no need to be so vindictive, hateful, and angry at someone trying to improve their life. I'm sorry that he's so insecure with his own sexuality that he can't overcome his hostility to the world that won't conform to his demands. I'm sorry that he's so insecure about his own sexuality that he views someone like me as a threat (and he does, otherwise, he wouldn't care so much about what I choose to do with my own life, obviously I am undermining his world view by my choices and mere existence). It can be frustrating, I imagine, to believe you control the world and believe the world to conform to your single narrow viewpoint and find out that you in fact have no control even over yourself and that perhaps what you thought was true is in fact not the case.
So if I were a religious dude, I'd pray for this guy. Since I'm not, I just hope that he can one day overcome whatever hatred and anger he has inside and let it go, move on, and become a better person. Despite his years of personal attacks, and what will probably be years more of personal attacks when I prove him wrong again and again, I still love him and hope for the best for him in his life. He deserves the same happiness in life that I've found. He may find it in a different way on a different path, but so long as in the end he's happy, that's the most important thing.
Those statements above that he sent me are not from a happy person, and that's unfortunate, because he claims to be a gay activist fighting for equality - and he does have passion for his cause - but with this sort of attitude, he will turn away more people and piss off more potential allies only making things worse for his cause. It goes back to the "you can get more flies with honey" idea. The greater society would more readily accept a gay man who presents himself in a moderate way, saying "Hey, I'm just like you, work 9-5, have the same problems with bills, etc. So I should have equal rights" versus "I'm gay dammit! GAAAAAAYYYY!!! Listen to me and do EXACTLY as I demand! And if you don't give me equality now, I'm going to attack you over and over again everywhere you go!!!"
Unfortunately, this gay man who sent me the comments presents himself in the latter way, which of course, creates a vicious cycle leading him further into hatred and anger as he faces strong opposition in return. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Perhaps gay activists, such as himself, should re-evaluate their approach and say "Hmm, being in your face and militant doesn't seem to have worked... Maybe we should try a different approach?" However, I know my history, and I know they won't change. The moderates will win incremental victories, and the radicals will claim those victories as their own. This is how it's always been throughout history with any sort of civil rights movement.
I'll give a brief example from my own life back when I was an "Out and Proud" gay man. After speaking with a Republican presidential candidate one on one about what it was like to be a gay man in the U.S. Military, I was able to successfully change his views on gays in the military. While he is not a major influence in his party, this was a small incremental step in the right direction, and probably one that will be unappreciated by the most radical gay activists. I have also met with students from Liberty University, interns of major right leaning think tanks (Heritage Foundation and AEI to name a few), and others traditionally thought to oppose homosexuality and found them remarkably open-minded and accepting when you approach them as equals in a moderate way.
In any event, I'm not going to waste any more time on this matter or his issues. He's not happy and he's not secure in his sexuality, or else he would have no need to attack me or view me as a threat. I can't help him since he doesn't want to help himself. He has to be the catalyst for his own change. I'm not saying he has to follow my path (everyone should choose their own path) but that he should work through his anger and negativity and work to be a more positive person, leaving his past behind and working towards his future. That's all I hope for for everyone I come in contact with. That's really all I can do for those who are resistant to changing their negativity.
