I came across this document online and I've skimmed it, but I plan to re-read it more in depth this week. It's called the Four Principles of Growth. Those four principles are:
1. Masculinity - Need to feel manly and relate to other men
2. Authenticity - Getting away from the false self, facing real feelings in open relationships
3. Need Fulfillment - Seeking out/maintaining positive relationships
4. Surrender - Letting go of negative situations and seeking positive ones
This weekend was all around positive for my personal growth in all these regards.
Saturday I got up early to finish off a quiz for accounting, then I went hiking with a good friend, enjoyed talking to him and getting outside for a bit. After that I met with my trainer to get some new running shoes, and spent some time with him before going to an AA meeting with him, then talking to him about an hour after we got back about the experience and what I had in mind after wards.
Sunday, I was up early again, did a little housework and then hit the gym, when I got back, my roommate was up and getting ready to go shooting in the mountains. He invited me along and I figured, why not? So we had a few assault rifles and smaller arms, I shot the .22 and the Glock because of my crappy shoulder, didn't want to deal with the kick on an AR. It was a lot of fun, since I hadn't shot since the military.
I also successfully avoided two potentially negative situations, I won't go into detail, but it basically would have resulted in relapse. The homosexuality is a sexual addiction, and I fully believe and accept that, and like any addiction, I have to be cognizant of the triggers, avoid those situations that would lead me back down the negative path, and seek out positive alternatives, like hanging out with friends, my trainer, and my roommate. I've been "sober" about a month now, and I plan to keep it that way.
I should be getting my book sometime this week too, so then I'll have something to work through and improve myself intrinsically. Little by little, one day at a time, I'll get over this, get beyond it, and be a complete and healthy person.
