OK, I gotta nip this in the bud before it gets too out of control:
If you are coming on here just to attack me, harass me, insult me, or otherwise show yourself to be an unsupportive, negative, and hateful asshole, I will no longer approve your comments. It's only feeding in to my own negativity and pushes me further away from thinking that gay peeps can be accepting and tolerant. In short, if you hate me, dislike me, oppose my goals or message, or are otherwise just so bitter and jaded that you like to make other people's lives hell, then move on, I won't approve your messages anymore and I will give you as much respect as you give me, ie none.
That said, if you ask me tough questions in a respectful way, with the intention of trying to understand better where I'm coming from, why I feel the way I do, and why I'm going through this path, by all means, feel free to post something along those lines. I am not opposed to getting asked tough questions or responding to any comments meant to make me think about my situation in the possible intention to get me to grow further as a person.
Like the old saying goes, when you wrestle with a pig, you both get dirty and the pig enjoys it. Or don't argue with idiots, they'll only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Just understand that if you can't be supportive or respectful, I don't want anything to do with you. Why should I waste my time explaining myself to people who have zero respect for me, don't even want to try to understand me, and would never accept me as I am no matter what? Why should I try to please people that will never be happy? It's not worth the effort to pour my heart out and explain where I'm coming from and only getting attacked for it. How is that supportive and understanding?
Case in point, my trainer's gay twin complained to me that his brother wasn't supportive of him being gay. The trainer admits that was wrong of him and he feels shitty about it because he does love his brother, but never said it the right way and never approached it the right way. He's grown as a person, which is why tonight he told me at church that he's proud of me, which meant a lot to me after all I've been through. He's proud I've opened my mind and heart and that I'm trying to improve as a person. And he's still accepting of me no matter what. I believe he would do the same for his brother now, and that was partially my intention, because it kinda hurts to see two brothers not get along, so I hope one day they can overcome this difference and be good brothers to each other again. But the ironic part is that the gay twin, who complained about the straight one not being supportive, is being completely unsupportive of me and attacking me. So rather than be the bigger man and show that he can be more supportive than his brother, he's taking his issues out on me and treating me like shit in the way he feels his brother did to him. What does that accomplish? Not a damn thing.
That said, I would be supportive to anyone who came to me, no matter the issue. That's just who I am. Unfortunately, I expect (via the Golden Rule) that others would be the same, and sadly it's just not true. But I won't take the blame for other people being assholes. I won't blame myself because of their hang ups or issues. Why should I? Why is it my fault that they have a problem with me. If they have a problem, it's their problem, not mine. If they can't take the time to read about me, understand me, and see where I'm coming from, and would rather draw a caricature of me based on some negative stereotype, then that's on them not me.
It's like my friend told me tonight:
You are a wonderful, amazing, intelligent, sexy guy. And you don't need anyone else to validate you. If finding a good guy were easy, then everyone would be happily married. There's so much shit out there and it's frustrating I know, but YOU can't let it effect who YOU ARE inside if you do, then you let them make you jaded. Live YOUR LIFE FOR YOU.
And he's absolutely right. I'm doing this for me. You can either support me and be understanding of what I've been through and what I'm going through, or you can move the fuck on and leave me the fuck alone. I'm not going to waste my time or emotion anymore on people who will NEVER be happy with who I am no matter what and who will always look down on me and treat me like shit because their lives are so miserable they have to share their misery with others. How do I know they're miserable? Because happy people don't care about making other people's lives hell. Happy people ignore what they don't like or can't change. Happy people share support when possible. I admit I'm not happy right now, but I'm not going to attack those that attack me. Like I said on a comment response earlier, they're doing a fine job attacking themselves and showing the world just how hateful and unsupportive they can be that I don't have to really point it out.
A final quote from that Zen and the Art of Happiness book:
Even if it's painful and lonely, associate with worthy companions
If you can't be supportive and understanding, I don't want you in my life. If your only goal is to somehow harass me and attack me into being gay (I don't understand that, but that seems to be the goal for some of them) then I don't want you in my life. If you can't take the time to get to know me before you try to tear me down, then I don't want anything to do with you.
Look, I know we've all been through pain, but not everyone deals with it the same. If you respond well to being attacked and harassed to get over your pain, more power to ya, that's not what I respond to. The more you attack or harass me, the more I'm going to despise you in return and completely ignore your viewpoint. BUT, if you present your viewpoint respectfully, coming from taking the time to understand my pain, and with the goal of trying to get me to consider something I hadn't thought of before, I will respect that a hell of a lot more than a personal attack or harassment.
That's all I'm going to say on that issue, I've wasted enough time on these people. It's not healthy and just further confirms that I'm making the right choice trying to move on from a community populated by such people.
